Yesterday / Mom
Dear Nathan,
Yesterday was hard for me baby. I should say every Monday is hard for me, but yesterday was exceptionally bad. I couldn't stop crying at work, I was in a fog. I went to see you. I cried and cried. Everytime I said I LOVE YOU or I MISS YOU a single tree would start russelling. I stopped crying long enough to look up and see the sun poke through the clouds. It had been cloudy all day but for some reason the sun came out for a couple of minutes. I felt a breeze but nothing was moving. Last night as I tossed and turned I had a dream. My first in a while. It wasn't of anything, just our song.
I have to believe that was all your doing baby. I have to believe you were telling me to stay strong, because right now baby I don't feel strong. I'd rather be with you. I'd rather be making you laugh and kissing you. The pain of losing you gets worse every day. I know you are looking down on me. I know you want me to smile. It will happen someday baby. When I finally admit you aren't coming back, I will make it through because you are pushing me too.
Thank you for being my Angel.
I love you always and forever
Mom
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