Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
His legacy
a poem for you baby  
There's a special angel in heaven That is a part of me
A million times I've missed you, a million times I've cried.

If love alone could have saved you you never would have died.

To some you are forgotton, to others just part of the past;

but to me who loved and lost you, your love will always last.

It broke my heart to lose you, you didn't go alone;

for my life went with you -sweetheart- the day God called you home, for things on earth didn't matter, but now I feel so alone.

My heart will always be broken, my life will never be whole,

until I see you again on God's golden shore.

God's garden must be beautiful for you are there to stay,

the rose of love within me will bloom again someday.

We might be parted for awhile, our hearts will always be together

for one day soon we will hold hands again forever.

Mom to moose  


To my Mr. moose,  I love you baby and miss you so much
My Blue Moose.  
Legend has it that…

Since Prairie Village was first settled, numerous citizens have called the police to report a seven-foot tall, darkish blue beast with huge antlers wandering the streets and local parks. Over the years, the elusive and mysterious Blue Moose has been seen and heard but, fortunately, never smelled. Some say he’s merely a legend. Some say a figment of the community’s imagination. But we’ve seen the grainy photographs and have seen the plaster casts of his footprints. We’ve heard the old timers’ stories about their encounters with Big Blue. We know he’s real. And if he’s eluded capture for all these years, he must be the luckiest creature on the face of the earth. So we named our place after him. Because we know that he’s rarer than a four-leaf clover, more fortuitous than a horseshoe, luckier than any rabbit’s foot. Any encounter with the Blue Moose is a true harbinger of good food. Stop by the Blue Moose and your day (or night) is sure to get better. And always be listening for his call, it’s a sure sign that something great is about to happen
mom's journal  
I found out i was pregnant in Aug of 06.  

December I had found out I was carrying a boy. You never tried to hide it.  In all the ultrasounds your legs wide open, proud of all you had.

The morning of March 26th, I woke up with bad back pains and my water had broke. You were born 5 hours later, a month early and only at 5 pounds 3 ounces.

From then on it was you and I. I spent 8 hours a day in the NICU rocking, talking, feeding you. I would put you on my bare chest and we would sleep together.  A week later I was blessed to bring you home.

I have a wonderful Job and was able to stay home with you for 3 months. During that 3 months you grew and grew. You were a healthy, happy baby.

Going back to work was so hard on me. I missed you all the time. I would call the daycare at least once a day just to check in. Every morning you would wake up and never cry. Just lay in your crib and every once in a while would shout out a little yell as if to say "Hey!! I'm up". Once i walked into your room your face would light up like a christmas tree. We would pick out your baby outfit for the day. Have naked time. I would lotion your "sexy" chest. I would tell you that I'm making sure to get your diaper area so you wouldn't chaffe. We would put on your outfit and do baby outfit dances because you were so "sexy"

We'd go downstairs, Nurse, watch the weather. Then we'd get all ready to go on a cruise. I would place you in the car, give you a kiss and off we'd go. I would drop you off. Give you a big kiss and tell you "momma loves you, I'll be back soon"

After work I'd pick you up from daycare. We'd go for a cruise home. Once we got home I'd put you in your high chair and talk to you about your day as I did baby dishes. Then we'd have dinner, play for a little bit. I would look at you and ask "Do you want to get NAKED?" you would smile and get so excited. We'd go upstairs lay on a blanket, I would undress you and you would do baby naked dances. you were Lord of the baby naked dance!! Then we would put on your pj's go into my bedroom and just hang out. Kiss each other, look in the mirror, etc.

I would read you bed time stories and you would nurse and then go to bed.

You never cried, you were always smiling and you always made me smile.

You passed away on Sept 10,2007. Monica laid you down for your nap. Checked on you 10 minutes later and you were gone. She tried to bring you back, so did the paramedics and hospital. I held your precious body in my arms whenn you had first passed. It wasn't fair. How could this be? How could you be that  happy and smiling when i dropped you off and be gone?

You had changed my life, my world. I still don't know how i'm going to go on. Every morning i have to remind myself that you're gone. Every night I have to go home to an empty house. I have family and friends for support. I can call them and lean on them. But in the end it's you that I want. 

Nathan, you were my world.  You showed me that i can be happy.  That waking up to a huge smile every day was the best way to wake up in the morning.  You taught me that when going for walks, I should stop and look at the trees, the clouds, the birds and just breathe.  I love you so much.  I will never be able to tell you what you brought me, there are no words to descibe it.

I love you my angel, and I miss you so much

Mommy

A letter from Nathan  

To All:
    Don't cry for me, smile because you made my life wonderful.
To Grandma D.-Smile because when we played i smiled to.
To Grandpa D.-Don't cry.  Smile because we watched my first car race together.
To Grandma M.-Smile because you taught me rasberries.
To Grandpa M. -Don't cry. Smile because we would spend hours talking.
To My Aunt Sue Sue, Don't cry.  Smile because I am lord of the naked baby dance, and i did dances for you!!!!
To my uncle John- Smile because when i was 2 months old you introduced me to Star Wars.
To Monica-Don't cry. Smile because you and I had special moments together.  Smile because I would make you carry me around.  Smile because I am Bella's 1st boyfriend. Smile because Mikey would give me kisses.
To Mike-Don't cry.  Smile because you and I watched my first football game together.
To Bella and Mikey-Don't cry because we can't play together, Smile because we did.
To my Aunt Kathy-Don't cry.  Smile because you were there when i 1st came into the world.  Smile because i told you things i never told anyone.
To My dad-When you see the trees move and the leaves blow thing of me and smile. 


And finally to my mom-to my crazy mom-To the woman who turned my highchair into a baby go cart.  To the woman who would lotion down my sexy chest.  To the woman who would get my diaper area extra well so i didn't chafe.  To the woman who taught me to dance NAKED!!-You were my world mom.  When you think of me don't cry, Smile!!!  Smile big and I will smile with you.  I love you mom.  We were each others world's and always will be.

Love, Nathan


Wonderful Baby  
It was 12:05 am on a Monday morning when i woke up to a weird pain in my back.  He was born less than 6 hours later.  A full month premature and a only 4 pounds this baby was amazing.

I spent a week in the NICU.  8-10 hours a day.  Holding him, rocking him, talking to him.  He was beautiful.  I brought him home that following monday afternoon.  From there after it was him and I.  We were a team.  People would always offer to babysit but i would politely decline.  There was no where I'd rather be than with Nathan.  

He was my world and brought me more happiness than I have ever known.   He taught me what it was like to care for something more than myself.  I would gladly change places with him.  I feel that he would have been an amazing child, man, etc..

Just as he came in Nathan died on a Monday.  There is no explanation, no reason.  As much as I read about SIDS I'll never understand why that beautiful baby was ever taken away from me.  Why he never got to celebrate his first birthday, Christmas, sit up, get his first tooth....

What I can say is that his smile was contagious, his laugh even more so.  Everyone he touched, made smile, laugh will miss him. 
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